Will you blow on my dice?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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