He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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