also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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