im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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