Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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