I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
