That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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