I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
