the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
