I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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