so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
