no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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