What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
