where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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