I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
