to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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