I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
