If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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