I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
