some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
