I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize