I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
