No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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