i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
