how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize