We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
