I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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