i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
