You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize