In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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