Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
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No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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