i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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