She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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