It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
