I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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