If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
