Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
