My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
