Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
