So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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