So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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