Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I am naked and annoyed.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
