Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
