Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
