Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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