I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
that's an acceptable place to lick
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
