your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
