I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
