I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
