I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
