so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
