I cannot find my penis.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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