I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
